August 2017

Those young people…….

An old sea captain was sitting on a bench near the wharf when a young man walked up and sat down. The young man had spiked hair and each spike was a different colour…. green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
After a while the young man noticed that the captain was staring at him.

“What’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?

The old captain replied, “Got drunk once and married a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son!”

And what’s more……..

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!”

“What do you mean?” the pirate replies, “I’m fine.”

The bartender says, “But what about that wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”

“Well,” says the pirate, “We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I’m fine, really.”

“Yeah,” says the bartender, “But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands.”

“Well,” says the pirate, “We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really.”

“Oh,” says the bartender, “What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes.”

“Well,” says the pirate, “One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye.”

“So?” replied the bartender, “what happened? You couldn’t have lost an eye just from some bird poo!”

“Well,” says the pirate, “I really wasn’t used to the hook yet.”    [Source http://www.yachtpals.com/jokes]